You're a Safety Manager who's just hopped onto the Bridge Safety Vision train, so you never need to handle your employees' safety glasses again. Now that you've freed up hours from your workweek, you should probably decide how you're going to juggle all the extra time you've saved. Never fear. We have all the ideas you could hope for.
1) Clean Out Your Emails
Everyone loves extra admin work, and your inbox has all you need to engage in your favorite hobby. It's time to get back to that Nigerian prince who's been nagging you to accept his dead uncle's estate. It's time to send thank you notes to eBay for reminding you that your life is empty without a pair of size-24 Spanx. It's time to respond to your mom's kitty videos and to email your favorite meme to everyone on your contacts list. Yes, you, too, can wade into your spam folder for five hours straight because God knows you don't spend enough time on pointless pursuits.
2) Play Mini-Tennis with a CFO, a Rubber Band Ball, and a Liquorice Net
You know how your boss is always telling you to be more goal-oriented and creative? What he actually means is that you should challenge him to a game of office tennis. A Harvard University Study found that 96% of offices have never tried this, and I really can't imagine why.
3) Make a List Ranking Your Colleagues By their Lunch Choices
Your human resources department will thank you for bothering. By the way, did you know that those who eat pizza and cupcakes have higher IQs? It's true, and now that Bridge Safety Vision is shaving hours off your workweek, you can focus on improving your brainpower one sugary treat at a time.
4) Get Through Your Paperwork
If sorting out your inbox didn't sate your desperate craving for administrative tasks, there's always that pile of paperwork on your desk. This is your opportunity to find out what your boss sent you in 1985. It's sure to be pertinent to your current work life. You even have the time to read things before you sign them—an advantage that will almost certainly keep you out of prison.
5) Label Refrigerator Lunches by Owner
Contrary to popular opinion, missing lunches are caused by misidentification, not theft. When Frank ate your cupcakes, it was because he really believed they were his. Merely labelling refrigerator meals will thus revolutionize your lunch hour. You can even make it interesting by using fictitious names from the latest bond movie.
6) Do Team Building Exercises
Everyone knows that paintball games improve the accuracy of your accounting paperwork, and now you can do even more team-building exercises. Yay! This is going to be so much fun. By the way, this is a good time to show off those safety glasses Walmart provided for your employees last week.
7) Organize Your Desk Drawer
As you no doubt know, those who keep their staples in a box earn 60% higher sales commission, so haul out a feng sui book and get to work. Since you love stationery so much, you can also add a new task to your paperwork duties. Remove the staple. Photocopy the document. Replace the staple in the same holes. Repeat. This will improve your manicure, and great nails are exactly what all CEOs need.
8) Finally Read "Permission Marketing."
Seth Godin is far more entertaining than Lee Child, and now you can finally read the one book that will change your life completely and forever and ever amen.
9) Wait in the Photocopier Queue
Did you know that you're allowed to wait in the Photocopier queue even when you don't have anything to photostat? Well, you can. Statistically, this is the best spot in the building for hearing office gossip. Did you hear Sandy arrived at work in size-24 Spanx today? Well, she did. Now that you know that, you'll navigate your career more strategically than ever before.
10) Make Coffee 10 Times an Hour
11) Fire Drill!
Nothing says "I drank too much coffee" quite like a good old fashioned fire drill. This is your opportunity to make sure you remember the route you've taken to your car every single day for, like, seven years.
12) Find out What Excel is For
Now that you're an administrative pro, it's important to discover that Excel exists for a reason. What that reason is has always been a mystery… until now. Take your egg and spoon to the nearest IT guy and find out. IT guys absolutely love it when office workers ask them about Excel. Your boss will thank you for your team-oriented approach to learning.
13) Construct a Tunnel to Affect an Escape
You've seen Shawshank Redemption, so this should be easy. All it takes is a rock hammer and a poster of Raquel Welch. You'll have to go to the playground across the road to secretly dispose of your teeny tiny rocks, but it'll be worth it. I promise. Be sure to wear your safety glasses while you're at it because that's exactly what Andry Dufresne would have done if he had a pair.
14) Compare the Safety Glasses Walmart Sent You With Those of Your Colleagues
Bridge Safety Vision lets you choose your own style, so use the time you save to prove that yours is the sexiest PPE in the office. Bridge takes the administrative work off your shoulders by breaching the gap between staff and suppliers. Your employees use our online platform to issue digital payment cards for safety glasses. Walmart takes care of the rest. It doesn't get easier than that.